It’s cold today, and this bowl of four and half day old leftover chili is making me sick. Fuck it. Despite the watery preamble of nausea, I don’t feel like running down the block to Wok and Roll for more takeout. Hot sauce and beer is the ultimate cure anyways, for days like this.
Today, while sitting at my desk and watching more paperwork come in than go out, I had a memory from what would be my past. It was the ridiculous bright smile of this woman who was a co-worker of mine during my college days. She seriously had one of the best smiles and brightest eyes that I’ve ever come across to date.
“You’re one of them, aren’t you?”
Those words she said echoed in my mind like it was yesterday. I kept looking into her eyes, and that goofy smile that made my headache fade into nothing. You’re a bold bitch were one of the many thoughts that scattered across my mind.
I ask her what she meant by “one of them” knowing very well I knew she too was “one of them” as well.
“You know, one of them. You see and feel things that are from a different time, and it scares the shit out of you.”
I stared at her, and she stared right back at me with those fucking bright eyes and now a sheepish grin. I pulled her aside, and asked her how the hell she knew what she thought she knew.
“It’s your aura; I knew it from when you came into this training room. I’m Rebecca by the way, RJ. That’s un ‘be’ y dos ‘ce’”.
Her slender finger poking my peeling name tag, brought me some comfort. She was the first person other than my mother that knew about the weird shit that torments each day. We became close friends after that day, and established a kindred bond that even today, miles and miles apart, still lingers.
The air started to taste stale as it usually does when I lose sync with whatever time I’m gravitating in. I wish I could lose sync and go back to the still framed memories of then. Far less paper work, but the food was still aged and sterlized with Bud Light and Tabasco.
Regardless, I think I’m actually going to be sick. I’ll take this as a sign that I need to get my shit together, and find my glide path. That aura that sweet Rebecca saw hidden on my person has only been fading since I’ve been lost here. My trip to the past to see her eyes and spirit was for a reason. It was another breadcrumb and piece to this jigsaw puzzle that I need to start solving, fast.